If there is one thing I learned having spent some thirty years as a bond trader it is that mistakes and problems cannot be ignored for long, they must be addressed.  And for bond traders it is literally impossible to live through very many market cycles without experiencing at least some trades that turn sour, positions that sink underwater becoming losses.  But it is not the loss positions that get traders in trouble; rather it is the failure to address them.  That’s not as easy as it may sound, by the way, especially when positions sink rapidly from bad to worse, to even worse than you can imagine causing tension filled days and sleepless nights.  It happens, I’ve been there. 

It may be overly simplistic to say this but I suspect this may be exactly what occurred leading up to the great financial meltdown in 2008 and the collapse of some of the great Wall Street investment firms.  The collective brilliant minds who were leading these prestigious investment institutions became so overwhelmed by the enormity of the problems tangled up in those complex derivative transactions that they waited much too long to address them, thus the disastrous outcomes we all witnessed. 

What does it mean when we say there is an elephant in the room?  It simply means there is a problem or issue looming so large it is impossible not to recognize it, yet so daunting we pretend it is not there - deny its existence.  Either that or we “hope” it will simply go away, which rarely happens.  Or we cover it up, hide it, disguise it - anything but address it.  And that’s what gets us into trouble. 

Just as bond traders are bound to have trades that turn sour, we all experience an elephant in the room from time to time.  It comes in the form of disease or addiction, marital or family issues, business and job situations, it happens within our homes, workplaces, and volunteer organizations.  But it is not the elephant in the room that gets us in trouble; it is our failure to address it.  I know; I’ve been there.

When people ask me if I am retired, I have to admit I am sometimes tempted to answer not just “no” but - if you’ll pardon the expression - “hell no!!”  Though it is true I retired early from my former corporate career several years ago, it has never even occurred to me to quit working, earning a living, or being otherwise as productive as I am able - not ever.  And I have no problem expressing that to people in no uncertain terms.    

Unfortunately I’m afraid we may be at risk of squandering one of our greatest natural resources, and I’m not talking about the disastrous oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, or the chronic wastefulness of our world’s precious natural commodities - although these are undeniably serious matters to be addressed both short term and long term.  No, I’m referring to the estimated 77 million people in our society popularly labeled as “baby boomers” representing nearly 29% of the American population, of which I am one. 

According to media resources 88.8 percent of baby boomers have completed high school and 28.5 percent hold bachelor’s degrees or higher, the highest education level of any previous generation.  Combined with the wisdom obtained through years of life experiences, good health and a substantially extended life expectancy makes this generation one of society’s greatest natural resources, although one with a limited shelf life.  Why should this great resource be squandered by allowing ourselves - or society allowing us - to simply sit in rocking chairs drawing pensions and social security?  Seems like a waste, doesn’t it? 

So, fellow boomers, may I suggest when people ask if we are planning to retire we should resoundingly respond not just “no” but “hell no!!” - if you’ll pardon the expression. We have too much to contribute toward the greater good; for we are after all one of the world’s greatest natural resources.  Let’s not squander it.

When Paula D’Arcy lost her husband and young daughter in a drunk-driving accident back in 1975, as you can imagine, she thought her life was over.  Only in her twenties at the time she was a young wife and mother and pregnant with another child.  “I was young, my arms filled with dreams,” she writes in her book, A New Set of Eyes, “my heart innocent and trusting.  Then the reality that I alone had survived.  Their lives were over.  And my heart’s vigil as that knowing cut through me, appearing to be powerful and consuming.” 

Life is filled with uncertainties, is it not?  Paula had no idea the tragic fate awaiting her on that day many years ago, any more than you and I can predict what awaits us tomorrow or the next day, good or bad.  Wake up on any given day and the headlines will be filled with events that too often catch us off guard; for despite our best efforts at creating stability and predictability life is at best, as it always has been, a topsy-turvy experience.  So how do we maintain our sanity in such an uncertain world?  What is there to cling to, what and who can we depend on? 

For Paula D’Arcy the answer eventually became clear when she began to realize that the only real certainty that exists is God, but not just in some sort of intellectual belief of simply knowing about God, but in actually “knowing” Him. 

Oswald Chambers writes, “We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. If we are only certain in our beliefs,” he explains, “we get dignified and severe and have the ban of finality about our views; but when we are rightly related to God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy.” 

Knowing “about” God has certainly influenced my own belief “in” God,  yet I have to say that the deepening of my faith - to actually “know” God - has had little to do with any sort of philosophical, intellectual, or religious belief system.  Rather I, like Paula D’Arcy and Oswald Chambers, through the years have come to know God by experiencing Him, and through that experience realizing He is the only certainty that actually exists - and the only certainty any of us ever really needs. 

“I do not pray for success, I ask for faithfulness.”  - Mother Teresa 

My father-in-law was such an avid golfer who spent so much time on the golf course that golf became almost synonymous with his identity.  But as much as he was connected with the game of golf itself he was equally notorious for the rather colorful language he so often used while playing it.  His golf game and his golf language sort of went hand in hand. 

One particularly amusing story occurred several years ago when an unsuspecting stranger was assigned to my father-in-law’s foursome in a tournament.  Thinking his profanities were directed at him - or anyone who happened to be within hearing distance - after the first few holes the poor guy was about to walk off the course having had enough of being offended.  Then my father-in-law missed a put.  “Ah, hit the *#!$%#@*# ball in the hole, you idiot!!” he blurted out at himself.  Then the man realized my father-in-law’s profanities were not intended for him.  Instead his criticisms were toward himself. 

Now my father-in-law was an accomplished golfer and a student of the game from every aspect.  Yet as far as I know throughout his seventy of so years of playing he won very few tournaments.  But then winning was never his goal in the first place; rather for him it was all about the personal challenge of striving for excellence at his own game.  Golf, you see, was more than a hobby for him, it was a calling, a way of life.  It was how he connected with people - and how others connected with him.  And as the unsuspecting stranger eventually learned, in spite of his notorious self-effacing outbursts my father-in-law was always a gentleman toward his fellow players. 

For my father-in-law golf was all about striving for excellence, not attaining success.  It was about faithfulness to his calling, not winning tournaments and trophies.  That is why he was so hard on himself, why he is remembered as much by his colorful language as his love for the game - why so many of his missed puts were followed by his famous outburst, “Ah, hit the *#$%#@*# ball in the hole, you idiot!!”  Even God must have been amused - who cares much more about faithfulness than success.

(from the archives) 

Mohandas Gandhi (1869-1948) spent 2,338 days (nearly six and a half years) in British jails.  Far from considering it punishment, however, Gandhi chose to use his imprisonment as an extended time for reflection and writing.  The result was that no human in recent history had greater influence on our world through a course of non-violence - having led a fifth of the world’s population to independence - than Mohandas Gandhi. 

“Next to life itself,” says Stephen Covey, “the power to choose is your greatest gift.”  Every human being, regardless of circumstances, is granted the gift to choose.  Most readers of this message chose what to wear today from a wide array of garments hanging in the closet, and chose from a variety of foods in the pantry what to eat for breakfast.  We may take this somewhat for granted, but most of us are probably grateful for these choices.  Choice, however, is not limited to the privileged Western middle-class.  Consider the opposite extreme.  Those for instance, who suffered the atrocities, abuse, disease and starvation of the concentration camps either chose to share and help their fellow prisoners, or they chose to focus on self survival.  Though difficult to imagine, the gift of choice, limited though it may have been, still existed within those horrendous conditions. 

Covey, in his definition, uses the word “power”, for we are indeed empowered by the gift of choice.  Covey goes on to say the following:  “This power and freedom stand in stark contrast to the mind-set of victim-ism and culture of blame so prevalent in society today. . . . . Your power to choose the direction of your life allows you to reinvent yourself, to change your future, and to powerfully influence the rest of creation.  It is the one gift that enables all the gifts to be used; it is the one gift that enables us to elevate our life to higher and higher levels.” 

Gandhi changed the world, and freed twenty percent of humanity through non-violent actions.  He became an agent of change because of his power to choose.  The choices we make produce the results in our lives.  The mechanism for making choices, however, originates in a deeper place.  It is the power to choose.

Occasionally I suggest to my coaching clients that they should write their own epitaph.  Now that may sound a bit morbid at first, but it is intended as a visionary exercise not a fatalistic one.  If you can sum up, in other words, in just one short sentence or phrase what you would like to have said about you at the end of your life you have essentially written a vision statement, and a vision statement provides direction for your life.  That’s the purpose of the exercise. 

Several years ago our family became acquainted with a man named Max.  Max had at one time been a prominent banker, rancher and successful businessman but had suffered a severe stroke which left him mostly paralyzed and in need of full time care.  Always cheerful and outgoing, though, Max puttered around the facility where he resided in his motorized wheelchair visiting with fellow residents and greeting visitors when they arrived.  That’s how we first met Max. 

Max never forgot anything.  He remembered everyone’s name, where they were from, and what they were up to.  Having a conversation with Max was an absolutely delightful experience.  He was inquisitive, interesting and funny.  But Max did something I will never forget.  At the end of every conversation before we parted ways he would always remind us in some way to go live our lives to the fullest.  Then he’d look each one of us straight in the eye.  ”Remember,” he would say, “this is not dress rehearsal.” 

At first I was puzzled by Max’s closing remarks, suspecting perhaps it had something to do with his confinement to a wheelchair, regrets about things he had done or failed to do.  Maybe, but then Max didn’t seem much like the type to harbor regrets or disappointments.  In fact, based on the stories we heard and the enthusiasm he continued to show I think Max had lived his life with the same vigor he was encouraging others to do.  Max lived as if he had written his epitaph.  

Let me ask you something.  If you could sum up in just one short sentence or phrase what you would like to have said about you at the end of your life, what would that be?  What will be your epitaph?  Think about it.  Remember, this is not dress rehearsal.

“The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious.” - Albert Einstein 

We were visiting the Stonehenge in the beautiful English countryside several years ago and while we were there we rented those little headsets you can listen to when taking a self guided tour.  As we walked the paths among the ruins of this engineering phenomenon the narrator on the recording described several theories about who might have built Stonehenge in the first place, how they were able to do it, and what purpose it might have served.  But since no one is certain about its origin or purpose the narrator would conclude each theory with these words, “. . . but no one knows for sure.  It’s a mystery!” 

Some things in this world simply cannot be explained.  They remain mysteries.  It has been almost two years since our two little granddaughters were born.  I remember holding each one for the first time and examining their ten little fingers and ten little toes, the features of their eyes, nose, mouth, lips, and hair.  Yes, I know babies are born all over the world every day, but these two - well, they’re different you see, for they are my own flesh and blood which makes me much more keenly aware of the miracle of birth, of new life.  Recently, having had the opportunity to spend time with both almost-two-year-olds, I was overwhelmed by how much they have developed in a relatively short period of time, toddling around on their two little legs, pronouncing words, and even expressing opinions.  How does this happen?  Medical science may be able to explain many things about the formation of an embryo in a mother’s womb, the birth of an infant, and the growth and development of a child, but there is much it will never be able to explain.  In particular it will never explain the awe and wonder of holding a newborn in our arms for the first time.  It’s a mystery. 

Einstein may have had one of the most brilliant mathematical and scientific minds of any human in the history of mankind, yet he too was awestruck over the wonder and beauty of the unexplainable.  The origin of the Stonehenge remains one of the world’s unexplainable phenomenons.  But even more so is new life and new birth, and to witness it is one of the most beautiful experiences we can have.  It’s a mystery.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Psalm 139:13 

Did you know that according to most estimates there are over 6,800,000,000 people living in the world today?  That is 6.8 billion in case the zeros are overwhelming.  Does that ever make you feel like just another rat in the rat race?  You’re not alone if you do.  But the fascinating thing is that within this massive population including all who have ever lived before us and all who are yet to be born each one of us is unique.  There is no one else in the world identical to you or me.  We are not just rats in the rat race; we are each and everyone different and placed here for a special purpose. 

In my particular profession of executive and professional coaching administering psychological assessments of some sort with our clients is a fairly common practice.  It is not for the purpose of psychological evaluation that we do this, for most of us are not trained psychologists in the first place; rather it is to increase each client’s awareness of his or her own specific and special talents, behaviors, and characteristics - what it is that makes them unique.  Once uniqueness is recognized then applied creatively in a person’s business, profession, and personal life both performance and satisfaction tend to increase dramatically.  It is the coach’s job to help make that happen. 

The first step, though, is to realize that we are not the result of some sort of human mass production.  We are instead uniquely and individually designed by the One who created our inmost being; the One who specifically knit us together in our mother’s womb.  We are not just rats in the rat race; we are each and everyone different and placed here for a special purpose.

 So as you begin your day today remember that there is no one else in the world identical to you.  You are unique, placed here for a special purpose.  Then consider how you might creatively apply that uniqueness to your business, profession, and personal life.  I’m willing to bet your performance will increase as well as your satisfaction.

“Do you know how old I’ll be by the time I learn to play the piano?” bemoaned the frustrated middle-aged novice.  “The same age you will be if you don’t,” her teacher responded. 

Over lunch this past week I had the privilege of listening to an old friend and former colleague describe the success she was achieving in her new sales career.  Want to know her secret?  It all began with her willingness to work on leads no one else would pursue, prospects considered too small to be worthwhile.  What others thought to be a waste of time, you see, my friend saw as opportunity.  Soon she became the top salesperson in her office in terms of opening new accounts, which led to more referrals and bigger accounts until - as my friend explained with a big smile - she landed what she referred to as a “whale”. 

People who get work are the ones who work - whether they are “working” or not.  Or as Julia Cameron puts it in her book The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, “What I am saying is that work begets work.  Small actions lead us to the larger movements in our creative lives.” 

My friend got work (translated, business) because she worked - even when she had no work (translated, business).  Work begets work.  Same holds true for the middle-aged piano student who may one day discover that practicing scales and playing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”, which seemed small and trivial at the time, were the very disciplines that led to her mastery of some of the great works by Chopin, Beethoven, or Mozart. 

Most of the time the next right thing is something small:  Going back to school, starting over as low-man-on-the-totem-pole in a new career, taking piano lessons in mid-life - or working the small leads no one else considers worthwhile like my friend has done. 

So what can you do - right now - what steps can you take in your life that will get you started on the road to that new success or skill?  Never mind that it may seem small, just go do that next right thing, be patient, and see what happens.

At least once a month you will find eleven-year-old Casey Rogers hanging out in the parking lot directly across from a Burger King in downtown Dallas, Texas where he spends his day distributing food and clothing to the homeless and needy.  It all began over three years ago when Casey and his dad were at the same Burger King and a homeless man approached his dad for a handout.  According to a recent article in the Dallas Morning News, “That struck a chord with Casey who was a foster child when he first went to live with Russell and Shelly Rogers a few weeks after he was born.  The couple adopted him when he was one.” 

“I was just like that,” Casey remarked to his parents, referring to the homeless population, “look how great y’all helped me.  Why don’t I help them?”  So, young Casey Rogers did a remarkable thing.  He founded his own charity called “Casey’s Heart” through which he gathers donations and distributes them to the homeless in downtown Dallas. 

Casey seems to have an amazing understanding about what we should do with our good fortunes when they occur, especially at his young age - that blessings are multiplied when we allow them to flow through us.  It’s like water that flows in a river or stream keeping it fresh and pure, providing for other living things along its path to flourish as well, rather than becoming stagnant and eventually evaporating as still water often does. 

“Praise God from whom all blessings flow . . .” proclaim the familiar words of the Doxology sung so often throughout the world.  Casey, though, expresses it this way, “. . . look how great y’all helped me.  Why don’t I help them?”  

Have you been blessed with good fortune in your life?   If so, take it from eleven-year-old Casey Rogers and allow your good fortunes to flow through you, providing for others along your path so that they might flourish as well.  It may surprise you how much your blessings will multiply.